Thank You

To all of Raina's amazing family and friends... your support continues to humble us. Thank you.

Raina

Raina passed away last Friday unexpectedly. The intensity of the treatment too much for a small body to manage. We will miss her terribly. She was buried today at Congressional Cemetery in the District of Columbia... sent off with a ceremony attended by her closest family.

There is a great quote in a book that my sister-in-law bought us about grief. Paraphrased it is "The only way out of grief is through" ... implication being that healing can only be purchased through the experience of pain for a loss. I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. Raina was truly the great joy of our lives. For us to be anything less than totally despondent now would imply she was something less than everything to us.

Gone

http://raina-v.blogspot.com/2011/10/raina-v-mooberry.html

...

"You have seen our whole voyage.  You have seen us go to sea, a cloud of sail, and the flag at the peak.  And you see us now, chartless, adrift - derelicts, battered, water-logged, our sails a ruck of rags, our pride gone.  For it is gone.  And there is nothing in its place.  The vanity of life was all we had, and there is no more vanity left in us.  We are even ashamed of that we had, ashamed that we trusted the promises of life and builded high - to come to this!" - Samuel Clemens

Curve Ball

Finishing up treatment hasn't resulted in the break we thought it might. Raina had a rough go of the final three rounds of chemotherapy, but hung in there like a champ. However, she has been experiencing some significant, debilitating symptoms that are being attributed to the radiation therapy. It is unclear how long these symptoms will persist or if they are reversible. We came into the hospital last week to help us manage her general discomfort and it has turned out to be one of our most troubling stays. Difficulty breathing yesterday bought us an express ticket to the ICU, where we will remain for an undetermined number of days.

I don't think anyone was prepared for this development, and so it has been an injustice that is twice as hard to swallow. The familiar feelings of fear, anger and despair have crept back up and are looming large. Raina is clearly having trouble tolerating the environment and we are no fans either. Looking back over previous posts and thinking through earlier stints here, I was relieved to realize we already know the formula for getting through this ordeal... Family and friends. So, however you are receiving the word (telegraph and carrier pigeon being the most likely), please... don't hesitate to reach out. We need you now as much as ever. If you are close enough to visit, Raina would love you to read her a story, give her a back rub or just smell her feet (an old fave). Courtney and I would certainly appreciate 30 minutes off the bedside watch as well to indulge in cafeteria mac 'n cheese or a nap.